Russians often have only 1 or 2 children. It is quite rare for a family to have 3 or more children. There was an article a while back about a family that has four children. The family are the owners of a pizza restaurant chain called New York Pizza. The article gave the impression that the family could only afford 4 children because they are rich.
It is the opinion of educated people that only uneducated people have more than 2 children. It is very common though for believing people to have more than 2 children. Such people are often seen as uneducated, stupid people.
Melody read a recent article in a newspaper that shocked her. It was an opinion piece. The writer was highly critical of people who have 3 or more children. There are government concessions for such families. The writer felt however that such a people were a drain on the state. Never mind the fact that Russia’s population is shrinking. The writer should be grateful to these families. With out them, Russia would die out.
This same writer made unqualified statements such as “children from many child families get treated like an adult too soon, this is bad for their development,” or “children from many child families often have low self esteem.”
We are not certain how wide spread these ideas are but as it is rare to see 3 children families they could be commonly held ideas.
Divorce is very common in Russia. The family unit often does not hold together well. A large well functioning and loving family in Russia in itself can be a big witness.
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A family can give great and first lessons on what "community" is and what society could be. How is authority,love, and self worth given to each member. When those break down in a family it spills out over society. It is sad that the mess is so large.
Here in the west it is also quite common for large families to be sneered at. We had "only" four children, but often found that people thought that was a lot. If they thought we were a drain on the state, they were too polite to say so; we do live in Canada! For the people whose political faith demands a belief in a "fixed pie" economic theory, it follows that a family with a large number of children has a negative impact on the rest of society. That is to say, if there's only so much (money) to go around, then the Smiths, with 6 children, are getting more than their share!
I would like to agree with grandpaw. My experience when I tell people that I have three children is often an incredulous look. Comments are often made such as 'so that must be it then', assuming I have finished having children. When they know that there is 6 years between number 2 and 3 people often assume number 3 was a 'surprise' when she was the most 'planned'. When I say that I may have another, people look at me like I need my head read.
'Children are so expensive' is a comment I often hear. Many people make the assumption that children of larger families 'miss out' on things - of course they are referring to 'things' that can be bought. Personally, I believe children of smaller families 'miss out' on the relationships, the fun and the support among other positive aspects of a 'larger' family.
When I was in Russia I met many people, educated or otherwise, who commented on us having 3 children - not because they saw it as a negative, but because they wished they could have more than they did. The reason behind not doing so was usually a matter of money - but a more realistic concern than here in the 'West'. Many live in single room apartments - one family we know with 2 kids - and it just physically is not enough space for more. Also, an average salary of $300 (AUD) per month (with food not that much cheaper than the west) really DOES mean that extra children may miss out on the basics like FOOD.
While I agree with most of what you wrote, you commented that
"This same writer made unqualified statements..."
I would also be careful of making unqualified statements such as this one you made...
"It is the opinion of educated people that only uneducated people have more than 2 children."
While there may be an element of this, it is still a rash generalisation, and much of it may come from a very real concern at being able to provide for children. Many children live in orphanages because there was not enough money for food at home.
In an unGodly world - where 'self' is the god of most - children are increasingly seen as inconveniences rather than blessings. Coming from the 'west' where many people are now choosing not to have ANY children, I think we have to be very careful before we judge Russian societal views - except from a Biblical point of view. And then we have to be careful to judge ourselves also.
I would like to respond to some of your comments Kolya. Just because people in Australia or Canada think it is strange to have 3 or more children, ot does not mean that it is ok for people to think so here. I would still argue that people here are more opposed to 3 or more children than in Australia.
Deception is also greater here than in Australia. It is very common for people to deal dishonetsly in business.
Divorce rates are much higher here than in the west. it is very rare to find a couple over 50 who are still together. Single mother families are extremely common.
I just wanted to point out that many of the attitudes here are further down the path of selfishness than in Australia.
This is not to say that Australia is a better country. Rather I am saying that godlessness has existed in greater quantities here for many more decades.
Australia is in danger of becoming a completely godless society.
A point of interest. Yes, Russia's divorce rates have been high because divorces have been easier to obtain for several decades - unlike in Australia. However, the divorce rate has been relatively stable for many years in Russia - unlike Australia's increasing rate of divorce ever since the divorce laws were relaxed.
It is also interesting to note that many Russians marry young, or at least marry, while many young Australians choose not to marry but cohabitate and then split up - a hidden pseudo-divorce statistic which can leave people as messed up as going through a divorce.
I'd say that Australia already is a godless society. Our Christian heritage survives only in tokenism.
On the point of Russians still being more 'opposed' to three or more children... I still stand by my belief that people in Russia are not against it, but choose to have fewer children due mainly to economic circumstances - far more so than occurs here where the lower socio-economic demographic may even choose to have children given government supplements that are received.
And as I said in my earlier comment, more and more people in Australia choose not to have any children at all. I'd be intrigued to see statistics on childless couples by choice here and in Russia. I'm inclined to think that Russians would have at least one child given the shocking state of aged care. (Not that it's that much better here - another reflection on society's decline: lack of respect for age) Russians would tend to depend more on the hope of their child/ren looking after them than Australians might (who might think that their money will buy them a comfortable old age if they don't have kids).
Unfortunately, it is a sign of the times that children are losing their value world-wide. It won't be long before the repercussions are all too evident.
Well when I have lived here longer I will give you more observsations dear Sis. We have spoken with Russians about this so are not completely ignorant on the topic. Melody has lived here for two years and in Australia for two years, so she is qualified to speak on these things. I was regurgitating her comments.
This blog is here for observations, correct or not. Over time these observations will become refined. Please do not be too harsh on my observations, they are as valid as yours. I too have spent a reasonable amount of time in Russia and know a thing or two.
Not being harsh or judgemental - just concerned that a fair representation is given. And please remember that the written word always seems more harsh than the spoken because it is lacking in conveyed emotion.
Different people make different observations and it is always prudent not to assume that one's view is the same as everyone elses.
I was just noting that in my observation (and in that of people I am still in contact with in Russia) there are many educated people who would love to have more children but simply can't (or won't) due to financial circumstances. That is why I am concerned that one article is taken as the view of the population at large.
I do not profess to be an expert on things Russian at all, but I am wary of the circularity to an argument that comes when starting to compare the ways of different countries. I know that if Nickolai and I start to have those kinds of discussions, no-one ends up happy. We are always going to be biased toward our world-view and the culture of our up-bringing. It is therefore very difficult to be completely objective in our observations.
You are perfectly entitled to your opinions and observations, and as qualified as anyone to make them. Just having a friendly philosophical discussion - not bringing personalities into it at all.
Love always, Lisette :-)
PS - just thought you may be interested to know that the Government here is starting to pay a few extra dollars a fortnight for families with 3 or more children (used to be 4), as that is now officially considered a large family. (it's only $8 something though...) :-)
Wow, I wonder what they would think of the Parenty family?!!!There are days I must admit I wonder 'why did I think I could manage this?! But on the whole a big family has heaps to offer each other and the world.It is also more natural to live in a large family than a small one - well managed it rocks!!!
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